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The NBA gives so much more to the fans than just the iconic moments.
As the NBA Playoffs wound down last month and the reality began to set in that a lockout was inevitable as owners and the players union seemed far apart on a new collective bargaining agreement, the pleas for both sides to do whatever it took to avoid a work stoppage began.
Most of the begging revolved around the fact that this year’s playoffs were among the most exciting in NBA history. How could the players and owners ignore the record ratings, the revenue, and the unprecedented interest the league was generating worldwide?
If the lockout drags on as some are predicting, I’ll certainly be among the fans who miss the on-court product. But what’s made me a lover of the NBA above all other sports leagues is the general silliness of many of the players that shines through at the most random moments.
In the 2000 Slam Dunk Contest, after putting down a between-the-legs, off-the-bounce windmill, Vince Carter calmly walked by the nearest camera and mouthed, “It’s ova” while making the accompanying hand gesture. Who wouldn’t want to immediately adapt that into his life? Imagine doing something no one had ever seen before at your job, then having the wherewithal to look that nonchalant and that cool about it at the same time? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve attempted to casually slip “It’s ova” into a moment in my own life when I feel personal triumph. It never looks cool.
But, in the spirit of those little things that I’ve so clumsily been inspired by, here’s a checklist of ways to properly incorporate the swagger of NBA athletes into your everyday life. For now, little memories like these are what will get me through NBA withdrawals if the lockout does indeed drag on all summer.
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The perfect way to disrespect someone
Kobe Bryant has a long history of being irritated by NBA journeyman Raja Bell. In fact, Bell’s ability to make himself a nuisance to Bryant is precisely the skill that helped his get his NBA career going. Their battles culminated in a playoff series in 2006 when Bell was suspended for a game for clotheslining Bryant. Bryant’s quote after the suspension was great:
Does he know me? Do I know this guy? I don’t know this guy. I might have said one word to this guy. I don’t know this kid. I think he overreacts to stuff. We go out there, we play, and when we play during the season, we play each other. That’s it. I don’t know this kid. I don’t need to know this kid. I don’t want to. We go out there, we play the game and leave it at that. Maybe he wasn’t hugged enough as a kid. I look at him a little bit, he gets a little insecure about something. I don’t know.
Now, it’s not uncommon for players to bad-mouth each other in the press when they have on-court altercations. But what makes Bryant’s quote so perfectly sneering is that “this kid” Bryant was referring to, Bell, was actually two years Bryant’s senior at the time. There is nothing more grating than being talked down to by someone younger. Well done, Kobe.
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The art of over-promising
In the season opener of the 2009-10 NBA season, Carmelo Anthony unleashed this ferocious dunk over Utah’s Paul Milsap:
Melo also shouted, somewhat inexplicably, “I’m Back!” without much explanation as to where he was at before.
Just a few weeks later on Twitter, Melo proclaimed that it was “Bully Season” for him and the Nuggets. Based on his early season stats, he didn’t lie. He averaged 30.9 points per game over that first month of the season. Unfortunately, his production regressed to the mean some, and he finished the season averaging just over 25 points per game, certainly not a bad mark, but also a far cry from “Bully Season.”
His Nuggets had a hard time finishing things, too. After winning 15 of their first 21 games (.714 winning percentage), then winning the Northwest Division, they lost to Utah, a team they edged for the division title, in six games in the first round of the playoffs.
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“You, sir, are not living up to our expectations.”
Gregg Doyel of CBS Sports gave us the gift of the best possible way to tell someone his job performance is slipping while posing this to LeBron James during this year’s playoffs:
Three games in a row for you, fourth quarter—not much. That’s the moment superstars become superstars it seems like you’re almost shrinking from it. What’s going on?
No one likes being put in a situation where they have to tell someone else they need more out of them, but if everyone just embraced Doyel’s methods, those conversations would get so much more interesting. In fact, my wife’s patient-yet-confused questioning of why I’m still up writing a post about things that ceased to be newsworthy months or years ago would’ve been seriously bolstered if she’d just told me I was shrinking from the moment of being a husband.
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“I humbly suggest you get your facts straight, sir.”
Doyel’s bluntness was certainly commendable. But being ready with a reasoned response, supported by facts, to such a pointed criticism is thoroughly rewarding. And LeBron was certainly prepared:
I think you’re concentrating on one side of the floor. All you’re looking at is the stat sheet. Honestly, I’m a two-way player. Tonight, since D-Wade had it going offensively, so we allowed him to handle the ball, rely on him to bring us home offensively. Um, you should watch the film again and see what I did defensively. You can ask me a better question tomorrow.
Now, the rest of the series vindicated Doyel’s original meat-headedness somewhat after James under-performed and the Heat lost, but when the question was asked, Miami had just taken a 2-1 series lead and looked every bit the favorites. To be able to quickly and articulately rebut such a combative question is not only difficult, but has to be an amazing feeling. And Doyel thought LeBron wasn’t clutch.
The big things, like the on-court action, the free agent speculation and frenzy, the Summer League … those casualties of a lockout will undoubtedly be the most difficult to cope with losing. But to lovers of the NBA, the little, seemingly innocuous moments that have no real bearing on the success or failure of teams, those things will be sorely missed too. Those random instances that, for whatever reason, hold their meanings and always reappear in our minds are going to be the best remedy for getting through the lockout.
—Photo via Ed The Sports Fan
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